You said goodbye in a rush today - I could guess why. It was sad, but it also warmed my heart so much, to be able to hear you in those last hurried moments. I wonder if you'll listen to my recording over and over, as I listen to your videos, just to hear your voice reassuring me, to see your face. Mama keeps telling me she feels so badly for us, that we can't be together right now, that she wishes things were easier. But I tell her not to be - we didn't sign up for 'easy'. She also says it's sad that, when compared to each other, you are the needy one and I'm the independent sort. I don't tell her that perhaps I'm only a different kind of needy, outside of being patient. I feel oddly content and somehow purposeful, knowing that I wait for you, as ladies have waited for their lords in the old romantic stories I've read, as wives waited on the widow's walks of their houses for their sailors. (I can hear you calling me a goober again. Stop it. Love me anyway.)

You won't receive it until you surface again, maybe not even until you reach port again, but I've sent you another sound clip - I recorded Marlena's heartbeat for you at my appointment today. He checked to make sure I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid (I got concerned when I began having unusual discharge), and everything is okay. They even did an ultrasound to check the sac itself. No pictures of Marley this time, but Mama was tickled to see her grand baby's heartbeat for the first time. I got to see Miss Beverly today too - for a few minutes. The poor woman is just so busy lately. 

 I should be more busy too. I still have thank you notes and gifts to send for the baby shower. Outside of that, perhaps I was overzealous in packing to keep myself entertained for the time I've spent here. I've hardly touched the PS3, save for watching Netflix with my folks; my 3DS has gotten a little more playtime, and I'm part of the way through my bookshelf. I do try to log on and speak with the guild every so often, but I'm still drowning a little in getting started with Makirsha. I think I'm going to write a little bit of short story for her, just something to help me flesh out her personality. If I can do that, it may help me feel more engaged and devoted to the character.

I can't tell you enough how much I miss you, how much I want you by my side, how much I love you. I think of you every day, and wonder just what you're doing in those moments. Your mom misses you too; I've passed her your work email so that she can send you messages. I'm sure she's worried for you - I don't feel I have to worry very much for you. You may have situations that try your patience, that leave you exhausted, even ones that seem to break your spirit. But I know you - I know how you push to do your best, how you strive to be your best. You have a team around you that, no matter the disagreements, is trained to look out for one another in the worst possible situations, and you're swaddled in thick metal, rocked by the cradle of the sea and watched over by God. I don't know what harm, if any, could truly come to you - I rest easy, knowing you're safe in these ways, and perhaps in others I don't know about. Never forget that I love you, and that you are amazing in my eyes - utterly, unfathomably, indescribably amazing, and you make me happy.